There still isn’t really anything very interesting going on in politics. The most interesting thing is what didn’t happen, due to how the DNC has shut out all of their most interesting presidential candidates from the joint press conferences that they call “debates”. Active military chick, successful entrepreneur guy, devout New Age chick, and fiercely heterosexual guy are all out. But I find it hard to care about a counter-factual.
So! Let’s talk about hate-reviews. The apotheosis of the genre is, of course, Willamette Week’s 2012 review of “The Brooklyn Brothers Beat the Best.” Sample paragraph:
Through a series of serendipitous events, Alex finds himself on tour with Jim (Michael Weston), a songwriter with a fetish for toy instruments. On the car ride to its first gig, the duo hatches its sound, later described as "the Shins meet Sesame Street." The movie treats this as a novel creation, ignoring that half the indie-pop bands of the past few years could be described the same way. Nevertheless, wherever the group performs—a bar, a rooftop, a Revenge of the Nerds-style frat house—the crowds sway in approving unison. One woman, a pouty blonde named Cassidy (actress-model Arielle Kebbel, unconvincing as a Pennsylvania club promoter despite her totally rock-'n'-roll nose ring), is so impressed she joins them on the road. She and O'Nan eventually fuck, because everyone knows morose losers who can't get over their girlfriends are irresistible to Maxim pinups.
Seriously, read the whole thing. They gave it a D when they normalized all the ratings to an A-to-F scale, but as I recall it was originally something like 10 out of 100. It's really an F.
Please share your own favorite hate-reviews in the comments!
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