Respect the value of trust by giving it carefully.

I have written about this story before in blog comments, but this post by Vox Day finally inspired me to start my own blog, so that I could get up on a soapbox more than would be appropriate in someone else's venue.

Once upon a time, a coworker of mine was fired for stealing candy, and I approved. Does that sound harsh?

I was doing security at the time. Someone with a private office wondered how the candy dish on his desk could deplete overnight in a locked room, so he set up a webcam. The night-shift guy was fired shortly thereafter.

Now, it may seem a bit much to fire someone over a bit of hard candy, but the human brain is a rationalization engine; we can justify anything. If what he stole was so trivial, then what that proves is that he could not resist temptation when it was small and easy to do without. He could easily buy his own candy.

How then could you possibly trust him in big things, where the temptation may be hard to resist? What if someone offered serious money for help with industrial espionage? If he couldn't resist ten cents' worth of temptation, how could he possibly be expected to resist ten thousand dollars' worth?

The user, the cheater, and the thief all justify it to themselves by saying oh, well, it isn't that big of a deal, it won't hurt them that much. But that is a Satanic inversion; if it isn't that big of a deal, then it should be easy to fulfill their trust.

So don't go blabbing all of your deepest secrets to the guy you just met at the bar. Tell him things that anyone who knows you would know. See if he treats those things with respect before trusting him with more.

And for more intimate relationships, the same is true and then some. Work your way up to friendship, to business, to romance, to secrets. And when you're betrayed, don't hesitate to demote your trust for them down a level or three and make them work their way back up; anything less would be dishonest and disrespectful to the worth of what they spit on.

Treat your trust with the gravity it deserves, or people will not treat you with the respect that you deserve. That is human nature. It is life, and wishing won't change it.